Cooning For Cash: I Made $100 in 4 Hours Playing Uncle Tom Role

BLACK EYE NEWS REPORT
January 19, 2015

barkley West Hart

“If you can convince the lowest white man that he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll even empty his pockets for you.” President Lyndon B. Johnson

George Washington Carver is one of the most successful black American men in history when you consider the times in which he gained notoriety. He was born around 1864 into imperial bondage. The insulting and phony Wikipedia entry on Mr. Carver describes an altruistic “slave master” who treated the young man as his own child.

Many people wondered throughout Carver’s life why his voice was so high-pitched and why he never married or had children. That’s because the imperial “owner” castrated young George sometime before he hit puberty because he didn’t want Carver to “rape his daughter.” But here’s the kicker: there is speculation that Carver may have VOLUNTEERED to be castrated so he would present no threat to white males and be a good, successful negro in life. Carver died in 1943 as one of the most influential botanists in history. And all he had to do was give up his penis and testicles to get there.

Its clear that if you want to be successful in the United States as a black man or woman, you must play the coon role to some degree. For those unfamiliar with the term, cooning is sacrificing integrity, dignity, and pride in oneself in exchange for Federal Reserve Notes and recognition from imperialists.

Charles Barkley (top left) dresses like a woman on demand and says anything and everything negative about black folks to get a rise out of his white fan base and potential voters in his home state of Alabama for a gubernatorial run. Former Republican Congressman Allen West (center) won his election basically by calling President Barack Obama a Muslim, saying he hates him, and using all on-air opportunities to call black people in general delusional or some other pejorative. And Kevin Hart…well, Amos and Andy are alive and well today.

Amos and Andy

Let’s face it: these three men are LOVED by large segments of white America solely because of their coonery and buffoonery. So we decided to put this theory to the test in the real world. Can you really get paid as a black man simply by cooning?

Methodology

We created Facebook and Twitter profiles for the conjured black man named Ernest Lincoln. He was born in Alabama, graduated college from San Jose State University, and is a former corrections officer. The initial photo used of him on Twitter and Facebook was blurry and not very realistic, but that apparently didn’t matter as you’ll see.

"Ernest Lincoln"

“Ernest Lincoln”

He is a “staunch black Conservative” who now lives in San Francisco, one of the most liberal cities in America. He was fired from his job as a real estate consultant in August of 2014 because he posted supportive Facebook and Twitter message for Ferguson, Missouri cop Darren Wilson; the one who killed 18-year-old Michael Brown. We set up a crowdfunding campaign so “Ernest” could pay legal fees and get by after being unemployed for four months.

The theory was to frequent white Conservative Facebook pages (Conservative Daily, Fox News, Tea Party Patriots, etc.), display a profile photo of a black man, and use all the buzzwords that get that base riled up; particularly when coming from a black man. Some of these words and phrases are as follows:

black thugs
Oblunder
Obama Is Muslim
Obama
Al Sharpton
Eric Holder
Police Lives Matter
race card
liberals
Benghazi

We ultimately changed the profile photo since it was originally a real person (not the blurry one from above). A six minute long Youtube video was also part of the crowdfunding campaign. Only one photo of “Ernest” was shown in it (the one above). The rest was just a fake Southern-sounding black persona that used the aforementioned buzzwords frequently. Ernest’s friend who “made” the video and set up the crowdfunding campaign was “Clarissa Covington-Wilkins”. Here is a short clip of said video.

Results

The Twitter account for “Ernest” was created four days before Christmas. We needed followers fast so just started commenting on various topics from a black coon perspective, using conservative hashtags (#PJNET, #Tcot, #PoliceLivesMatter, etc.). Incredibly, within four days, Ernest had amassed nearly 1,200 followers.

Twitter Screenshot

A Facebook following was also being built. When the account was deactivated on New Year’s Day, there were 175 pending friend requests. A few comments were posted by Ernest on conservative Facebook pages when the profile photo was still the real black men. Needless to say, Ernest was very popular.

Bush Sick Coon
Bush Sick Coon2

The crowdfunding campaign was launched on Christmas Eve. Within 90 minutes of publishing, Ernest had already received $30 in donations. The donations rose to $100 two hours later.

Crowdfunding Shot

There were five checks pending clearance totaling another $150, but they were cancel; basically to save these people from themselves. The point had already been proven.

Conclusion

None of this was really surprising. But sadly you learn a lot about so-called conservatives while doing this type of experiment. They will treat any black man like gold who talks bad about his own people and President Barack Obama. They even apologized to Ernest for some of the blatantly vile comments left by others about black people. “Sorry Mr. Lincoln for these hateful comments. This is not indicative of Conservatives,” one commenter wrote. Of course that same person “liked” a comment saying “that black animal [Mike Brown] got what he deserved.” That comment was one of the most-liked in the thread.

The results are clear: black men who desire to have Federal Reserve Notes thrown at them and receive endless accolades from white people need only start cooning. Liberals will love homosexual black men just as much as conservatives love the Toms.

More power to the hip-hop coons who wear their pants half off their asses, the GOP coons who I truly feel sorry for; and the Don Lemon/Michael Sam et al. coons who are famous solely because they have homosexual sex. If paper fiat currency and state-run media fame rule your worlds that much than you’re on the right track.

Black people will always be the global Charlie Brown race as long as Federal Reserve Notes exist. Or better stated, black folks are forever doomed as long as happiness, success, and accomplishment are tied to a commodity (“U.S. Dollar”) they have zero control over.

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